hi behrty, this is a good try, there is a melody included, I have something to say:
1. the intro of the songs are important, the intro makes the listener respect and appreciate the music and stay with it until the end, neither very long nor very short, and
the intro prepares the listener for what is coming.
2. After the intro comes the development or body, it should be an explanation of the intro or just the opposite.
3. There are percussion instruments, but all the instruments can be percussive at a certain time, the percussion is used to push the melody and its rhythm is dry and not very freed, they fill one or more points in space(....), but they leave a void that must be filled with string or wind instruments that are not percussive→(_ _ _)←(its sound is long and wet as opposed to dry ) and that way you have a better formula.→(.._._ _.._ _ _ ... _ _)←(presenting a good valance between dry and wet in your melodies is a good use of the capabilities of the instruments. )
This is well done, I hope you understand that these tips are in appreciation of your music, greetings.